"If I had only..." - 3 tips to ditch regret and move on

Image by Zach Klein

One of the most annoying types of financial articles and blog posts that I see on a regular basis is the "If you had invested in these stocks 20 years ago, you would have made $14 million by now." I just saw another one by Intuit: Pennies to Millions. These articles are nothing more than shallow linkbait that play on the human tendency to reevaluate our decisions now that we have the benefit of hindsight and manufacture artificial regret.

"If only" scenarios are a waste of time. The fact that you could have made $xx dollars by investing in whatever twenty years ago is meaningless today. If only you had started Microsoft instead of Bill Gates, you could be the richest man in the world today. Thinking this way is just a distraction that will keep you from moving forward.

This whole subject does raise a good point though: this site focuses on what young people can do to prepare themselves for future success, but what if you haven't done everything you could have? Or what if you're no longer that young and you're stressing out about all the chances you missed, and all the opportunities that are no longer available?

My advice is simple: get over it, and fast. Every second you spend thinking about what might have been is even more valuable time wasted. The fact is that you can't go back and change the past, so stop kicking yourself, and just move on. If you're having trouble, here's a few things you might want to consider:

Transform mistakes into a strength

Think of it this way...every mistake you make and every missed opportunity is a chance to learn and grow. You may not have seized a great chance ten years ago, but by recognizing it, and learning from it, you'll be better prepared the next time around.

Remember that you're not alone

There are few successful people who didn't go through periods where they failed, where they missed great chances, where they felt like giving up. Some of the most successful people in the world spent years toiling away with no reward or recognition until they finally broke through. It may be helpful to read some biographies of successful people that you admire; you might be surprised to find out some of the trials they've gone through and mistakes they've made.

Pass on your experience

This one relates back to viewing this as a learning experience. Because you've learned something, don't be afraid to talk to other people that you see making the same mistakes you did, or missing the same opportunities. Perhaps you've got a younger sibling who is graduating from college and getting their first job; talk to them about investing and preparing for their future. Or maybe you know someone who really wants to write a book, but is afraid of failure; encourage them. Whatever the circumstance, if you can see that someone might make one of the same mistakes you've made and learned from, say something. You'll feel better.

Finally, the most important thing you can do is stop stressing and start doing something. As the saying goes:

"The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is today."

So get out there and do it. Today. Right now. Go.